This post is going to jump everywhere because I’m out to be an imperfectionist. In fact, I have been postponing this post for well over a week because I have been concentrating so much energy on trying to be perfect and it just hasn’t been working for me. I recently came up with a phrase that was partly inspired by Seth Godin’s ideas from his book Linchpin: Are You Indispensible? and I recommend it to anyone who is stuck on trying so hard to make sure everything comes out perfectly in a certain aspect of your life, perhaps more than one aspect.
Anyway, the phrase goes as such:
“Seeking perfection is flawed. Just keep shipping” Tweet this
Trying to be perfect is so tiring and hardly gets me anywhere because I stir up so much anxiety over the smallest details, which results in accomplishing nothing. I also have been caught up trying to post very profound content, but you know what? A lot of the time, I have nothing profound to say and this post is dedicated to NOT trying to be profound. This post is dedicated to NOT trying to be perfect.
Shit. I just realized that by trying to make sure that everything is written the way I want it to be in my ideal world, I am hindering the large loads of obviously NOT PERFECT material from being shipped out to potential readers. Heck, maybe they take something useful from it. Maybe they don’t. Either way, I’m getting satisfaction by expressing myself. By working at perfection, I am denying myself of the essence of being human, of making mistakes, which I feel connects me to others. Because I am no guru, though I certainly do try acting like one at times. What a pretentious and false perception that is!
So, lifenthuziast.com has been created, firstly, to connect and share my humanness and, secondly, for people to take whatever they may find useful and apply it to themselves.
Better put – and it makes me feel much better saying this – I am a student of life seeking knowledge that I can use to enhance my perspective at any moment so that I am not instantly reactive to circumstances. But I do react at times – I mean a lot of the times – and this is the perfect place to share my fuck ups and how I manage them as well.
Speaking of reaction, this is a good time to draw the distinction between reaction vs response.
When I bitch at my girlfriend because she’s bitching back at me, I am reacting. When I take a breath and realize that she is on her period and that I will never know what it feels like to have my hormones go haywire in such a way, and then kiss her on the cheek instead…well, that is intelligently responding.
This seems quite reactive because I just hopped out of my meditation and decided that this needed to be written because I know the longer I wait for something to happen, it ends up not happening until a flame is put under my ass. Maybe the meditation helped to ignite that flame driving me to take action at this moment. Good. Great. Excellent. I needed this. This actually confuses me but I believe this was a matter of reacting responsibly(?).
I am also currently inspired by the works of Viktor Frankl in his marvelous book Man’s Search For Meaning, which I recommend to anyone who feels like their problems are worth bickering about. He fathered a form of psychotherapy called logotherapy and the basis of it revolves around a person’s meaning to his/her life. He concluded that the people who survived the horrors of the holocaust (which he himself survived) were living on hope, despite the inevitable numbness due to the suffering they underwent everyday. One of the biggest meanings for his suffering was that he’d live to speak on the psychology of inmates in the concentration camps. And what do you know, he lived to tell it in this very book.
One of his techniques in logotherapy is known as paradoxical intention and it was said to work effectively on phobias and somatic disorders. The idea is that by having an opposing intention, a negative pattern can be broken. For phobias, for example:
“A given symptom is responded to by a phobia, the phobia triggers the symptom, and the symptom, in turn, reinforces the phobia…On the other hand, as soon as the patient tries to ridicule them by dealing with them in an ironical way, by applying paradoxical intention – the vicious circle is cut, the symptom diminishes and finally atrophies.” – Viktor Frankl
In this sense, I am using paradoxical intention in this post, trying NOT to be perfect, since I am aware that intending for the contrary to happen (being perfect) has left me idle with nothing to show for it. There’s the flaw in seeking perfection…at least for me.
I actually feel very at ease while I’m writing because I know my intention is to be imperfect (which is really me) and it’s comforting to know that I am not a guru and I don’t have to try to be insightful because that wouldn’t be me. I feel like insightful people don’t have to try and I’ve honestly been trying too hard.
This site of mine is meant to share personal development technologies, but I’m going about it the wrong way if I share them at the expense of expressing myself. This is my platform for self-expression and I am damn proud to not be perfect.
This was a very therapeutic post of mine and the most rewarding one for me yet. I encourage anyone who has been feeling shaky about expressing themselves for the sake of trying to meet perfection to leave that delusion alone and try to be as imperfect as possible. It’s a breath of fresh air. Imperfection is human nature. That makes us beautiful.
So be beautiful and express your imperfections.